does my paragraph make sense can you make it smart liike? Value of
society is also a topic that Steinbeck is revealing to us. Crooks is someone
that goes to work and comes back to his shack. .He wasn’t considered an
important person to the other ranch workers. He did not have any importance in
the society. He was always rejected from entering the bunkhouse or even to do
activities with others. In 2014, it’s not the same anymore; everyone is equal
and has their own rights.



4 years ago Comment

Its great only captalize the first word,and iu could talk about him a little more.


4 years ago Comment

Best answer

I believe you should have a topic sentence that sort of leads in to you paragraph and makes the transition from whatever previous topic smoother. Also, you could try using full names, technically your supposed to use someones full name and then throughout the rest of the passage you can sue their last (even though no one does). Also, in 2014, we still don't all have equal rights. Saying that we do is a very strong statement. It might be a slightly better idea most likely to say that we have greatly improved each persons rights and are on the fast track to total equality. Other than that, your paragraph seems great! Just try to minimize the use of pro nouns (he,she,it,etc.).